TRIGGER WARNING: DEPRESSION, S*LF H*RM, SU*CIDE
It’s been over two months now, I am still haunted by that very thought before sleeping. It has created an aura of fright, of fear around me, and I am engulfed in it, losing myself to it. twisting, turning, changing sides doesn’t help anymore. the meaning of love and affection has vanished. my inner voice is drowning me into this deep dark black hole and suddenly I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m flinching in pain, crying in silence, hoping someone would come to save me. Lying unconscious, with flashes of all terrible things that have happened, self-harm, suicide was the only thing in my mind. I wanted to end my life, jump off a building, hang myself but little did I realize I was in depression, and there was no one who could change that.
Depression is a cruel punishment. There are no fevers, no rashes, no blood tests to send people trotting in concern, it is just slow erosion of self. It is a state of feeling sad and lonely. Depression is not a misdemeanour, it can be stopped. Sometimes, we might not know but the people who make others laugh can be the ones who haven’t laughed in ages, the people with the brightest smile on their face might be the ones in the most pain, the people we think are overwhelmed might be the ones who are hurt the most so, it’s very important for each one of us to not define depression as a mood.
Losing interest, feeling sad is not okay. Reach out, seek help, save lives, fight depression.
-Navya Gupta
Instagram ID: @navyagupta14
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