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Trigger Warning

The content below may be potentially triggering to some individuals.

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My Relationship with my Body

Updated: Sep 19, 2021

We live in a world where everything can be fixed or faked. Noses can be changed, your stomach can be tightened, and cellulite can be lasered away, apparently. Because that’s what we are told to do, which is alter ourselves in order to be beautiful or to fit the perfect body image. About 1 and a half year ago, I tried to quietly navigate myself to having the perfect body, or at least trying to fit the society’s standards. When I used to be self conscious, or used to feel insecure about my body. I was told not to do so because I was skinnier than most people around me. I get how it may seem inappropriate for someone who is “average size” to talk about problems with weight gain. But the point is, I never felt there was anything wrong with my body. I didn’t think my nose was too big, I didn’t think there was something I needed to fix until I was being compared to people who had a smaller waist than I could ever have, or had that “perfect” cute nose that I wasn’t lucky enough to get. Just because I wasn’t genetically built in a certain way, I was harsh on myself. Really, really harsh.

So sometimes, when I used to open a magazine while waiting for a doctor’s appointment, I used to see these articles, that said “Here’s what he/she REALLY looks like” And I wanted to see, I’m sure many others did too. I wanted to see it because we’re so aware of our flaws, and insecurities that we want to catch glimpses of the same in other people. We like to know that we aren’t the only ones. And sometimes when I look at myself in the mirror, I think, “Oh okay,I look fine, it’s okay, I’m okay, no one is going to judge me today. I mean, I hope so..”

And I’ll look at myself again the next day and find myself looking so different than I was the day before. And it scared me because I wasn’t sure if I was seeing correctly or was there actually something wrong with me? Do reflections sometimes lie? If I can see this change, does that mean that others can too? We’re so afraid of judgement and criticism but we aren’t born insecure. NO ONE is born insecure, we’re told to be insecure about parts of ourselves. From a very young age, we are unknowingly being taught or trained by magazines, movies and/or all forms of media into thinking that being fat is a bad thing or that thin is beautiful, beautiful in thin and nothing else will work. Nothing else is beautiful. Everything that isn’t thin, is worthy of being publicly shamed. Judgment and criticism have always existed. It’s just that now, everyone can be a critic and can share it publicly and without hesitation, behind a screen, at the push of a button. We’re so exposed to all this hate, this toxic environment around us, people starving themselves so that they can fit the perfect body type is now normalised, which is really not okay. I lost 10 kgs in one month, and no one said anything, it was actually seen as a good thing that “Oh wow you’ve lost weight, you look GOOD now”, and when I gained weight everyone had to say something. Everyone had to comment on my body, everyone had to tell me what they thought. Remind yourself that this perfect world you see online, in magazines, in movies and TV, are presented to you through many different filters. Do not set impossible goals of meeting those fake standards. It’s unrealistic to think that your body or my body will ever look like anyone else’s. That’s not the way it’s supposed to be. Embracing your natural beauty does not exclude anyone. There is no fine print. You can be naturally beautiful with acne or scars, cellulite or curves. So let’s celebrate each other, and ourselves, as we are, as we will be, and as we were meant to be. Unique. Imperfect. Beautiful. And so incredibly powerful.


-Saanvi Dhingra

Instagram ID: @saanviidhingraa



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