Self Loathing Maze

The feeling

To the days when you can’t sleep at night

To the days when you tell yourself it’s gonna be alright

These are the days when you know the sudden pain has hit you again

From the not enough days

To the self loathing maze

The songs that make you feel home

From the devils who left you out to roam

That’s when you’re numb

When their words only meant dissing

And now you’re left alone to do your missing

Your swollen eyes show the anguish

You hate yourself because they were selfish

What felt forever, wasn’t quite it

Crying doesn’t end your sorrow

But trying is your way to tomorrow

The constant worthlessness

The constant being a mess

Being happy is what you desire

The love is what you need

But that doesn’t give you a lead

Your fears are what you hide

Because you still don’t know why they lied

It makes you tired, but it doesn’t end

They told you what you lack

And now your euphoria has a crack

Your soul needs to shine

Your emotions need to stop the whine

It’s your time to heal

Time will heal the past

The pain, the misery, it won’t last

Your head will rise

Your crown will be precise

The feeling won’t chase your throne

It will be your night, it will be your day

You will loved, you will be cherished, it will just come in your way

You’ll soon be the only one someone wants

But this time, with no taunts

This won’t be one sided

You’ll get the care you deserve

That’s yours in someone’s reserve

Your maze will mend

You won’t have to pretend

The feeling won’t stay, the feeling won’t last

There’s no time to be sappy

Only your den to be happy.

-Alina Shanker

Instagram ID: @alinashanker